The Perfect Number
by Edward1012
Summary: Edward Elric. The hero of the people. The Fullmetal Alchemist. He had gotten the last two names in his quest for the legendary Philosopher’s Stone when he was twelve. At thirteen he got his fourth name.
1. Business as Usual

**Edward Elric. The hero of the people. The Fullmetal Alchemist. He had gotten the last two names in his quest for the legendary Philosopher's Stone when he was twelve. At thirteen he got his fourth name.**

**My first fanfic! Can you believe how excited I am!? CAN YOU!? Yeah, you probably can. Anyways… I hope you enjoy the first chapter of The Perfect Number!**

**Disclaimer: I can a-no touchy-touchy teh FMA, for she ish not-ta my-ine.**

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It was a dark, rainy morning in East City. The sky was completely blanketed by a large black cloud with no visible end. Lightning struck and one could briefly see two figures approaching the military headquarters; one wearing a black leather coat with red trim, his hands in the red pockets which were set at his hips. The other made his way towards the building at a steadier pace, trying to follow his brother the best he could in his metal body. The boy in the black coat appeared to be staggering along at varying speeds, sometimes limping, other times almost skipping. The armor looked over to his hooded brother concernedly while trying to wrap his mind around what had just happened. 

_The sparks from their alchemy lit the night sky like the sun; spiked towers springing from the ground with the intention of murder. The armor boy took their temporary employer in his arms and started sprinting towards East City HQ, where he was to report in an hour's time._

_The two alchemists continued to barrage each other with flurries of sharp stones and barriers made from the concrete streets. One stone, thrown by hand this time, struck the smaller alchemist on the forehead, sending him quickly to the ground. The other, still determined to finish what he started, sprinted off to find the armor boy only several blocks from his destination._

_In a flash of alchemical light, the armor was ensnared in stone, and his employer lay limp and bloody in his arms. He had been crushed by the binds. The killer strode off calmly and gracefully, as if nothing had happened that night. Only the usual business._

_Edward had gotten up later and staggered over to his brother Alphonse to free him, only to realize they had failed their mission. They were a whole four hours late, to boot._

It wasn't an unusual scene for the boys. Every time they had been given a new assignment, the other alchemist would come and strike them down as easily, if not easier, than last time. It had all started when Ed had taken the State Alchemy exam when he was 12. He had passed amazingly his first attempt, and due to his outstanding performance in the year that was to follow, he was offered another job. Something that would give him considerably more freedom, and lead him to more sources of information to assist the Elric brothers in their quest for the Philosopher's Stone. He was offered a position as a bodyguard for hire from the State. He was the seventh to accept, and was handed his new coat a week later. It was made from smooth, quality leather and had a silk lining that felt soft on his skin. It still had a hood in the back, but a different symbol printed under it. The official insignia of the Amestrian military guards; a bird-winged dragon reaching for a star with its feathered arms. The number seven was also on it, printed on the front on his left side.

Since that day, the coat had been stained with blood countless times, mostly from Edward. However, seeing the boy's win-to-lose ratio, people had stopped offering them jobs. That snuffed their research for the time being, until a man who insisted to remain anonymous, even until his death in Al's arms, hired them. It had been months since their last opportunity to get out of the office, so they naturally jumped on it. Now if anything, their recent failure would remind people of their unsuccessful career.

Ed stumbled drunkenly through the front doors of East HQ to be greeted calmly by the woman sitting at the desk in the front. It was indeed business as usual. The guards at the gates didn't even flinch when they saw Edward topple over, his brother desperately trying to wake him. Though the worst part was yet to come. He would have to report his failure to his superior officer, Colonel Roy Mustang.

Mustang wouldn't have cared nearly as much as he does if Ed wasn't his subordinate. All of the failures were seriously hurting his reputation. Roy was even getting threats of demotion if he didn't get Ed in line soon. That, of course, simply wasn't an option for the esteemed Flame Alchemist, hero of Ishbal, and aspiring Fuhrer. Roy had gotten very close to burning Edward out of sheer rage the last time he reported a botched mission; he would surely fry Ed to a crisp this time.

The Fullmetal Alchemist stood weakly in front of the wooden door that lead to the Flame and looked up at the frame pathetically. Al laid a comforting hand on his left shoulder, and gave him a slight push.

**

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Yay! And with the first chapter comes the first cliffy! And remember kids, if you have any questions, comments, rants, or drunken slurs concerning the end of the world, ducks, cardboard spaceships, and Dick Cheney, just stick 'em on my crap and I'll participate in various ways!**


	2. Lucky Dog

**Wow, two whole reviews overnight…? It really works! Rejoice! And as a little worthless bonus, I'd like to show you where I'll be working on the drafts and ideas for every single chapter except for the first.**

**for boredom. Anyways, a huge thank you to everyone who's read this fic! It makes me so happy, I just wanna… wanna… bawl. Okay, I'm over it now. On with chapter two!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA, nor will I ever. It is a sad, sad world.**

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"Sit down, Fullmetal." Colonel Roy Mustang had his gloved hands cradling his chin. There was a look on his face that convinced Ed that his assumption was true. He was going to be burned to a crisp.

Edward shakily took his coat off and handed it to his younger brother, revealing a white shirt with a unique design covering its front. There was an orange and white bull's-eye with a large deep red "X" over it. The legs of his jeans rubbed against each other as he tried to walk steadily over to Mustang's desk and await his doom. The bottoms were cuffed and transmuted; they didn't have any his size when he got his clothes from a store several blocks from HQ. He had transmuted his boots because nothing anywhere had caught his attention. They were black with white stripes from his heel and arch; the laces went all the way down to a steel plate covering the toes which looked like it was bolted on. There were three small spikes from the front, not particularly dangerous unless he gave something a good, strong kick. And, as Ed's tradition, they had tall red soles.

"Well?" Roy's eyes narrowed. He was clearly awaiting the bad news. It felt as if there was something stuck in Edward's throat preventing him from saying anything, only letting out a small whimper. "Dammit, Fullmetal! What the hell do you _do_ with these people!?"

"Colonel, I-"

"It's not as if I couldn't have guessed the outcome, what with your astounding losing streak!"

"Colonel!" Alphonse stepped forwards, the sound from his foot hitting the floor getting Roy's attention more than his voice. Al continued to walk forward to behind his brother who was now frantically trying to choke down a sob, but failing miserably. Mustang looked at the pathetic scene and slammed his hands on his desk. Ed's eyes shot back up at his superior, tears flooding his face. "Colonel, please! Just one more chance…!"

"That was the last straw, boys. If I could, I'd give you 'one more chance' until the end of the world. Unfortunately, that isn't my choice." Roy strode past his desk and stood in front of Edward. He raised his arm and placed his thumb and index finger together and tensed them. Ed screamed.

"You're a very lucky boy, Edward." Roy placed his other hand on his glove and slid it off, then did the same with his second. He held both gloves, now empty, in front of Ed's face. "Here. You'll need these. You _have_ one last chance. You'll be in a team with other bodyguards. The others will be undercover; you are going to be the only obvious guards. The man you are to protect is the Sewing-Life Alchemist, Shou Tucker. He is bringing some very important research to the labs in Central, and I expect him to get there alive."

Ed flinched. He wasn't dead? The colonel was giving him_ his_ gloves? What's going on here!? He decided it was best not to argue with the person that could end his career or life in an instant if he so desired, and took the gloves. He put them on over his others so they would fit better and looked at them. They were perfectly white; not a speck of dust or dirt anywhere. "T-thank you…" He grabbed his coat back from Al and put it on, being extra careful with his new gloves.

"Now, I trust you to take good care of them. I need them, if you hadn't noticed." Mustang started to walk back to his chair.

"Wait, sir!" Roy spun on his heels. Sir!? Since when did Ed call anyone "sir"!?

"Yes, Fullmetal?"

"I don't know how to use them." Roy looked the boy up and down then gave him a smirk.

"You'll figure it out." He sat in his chair and watched the boys leave. Ed wasn't nearly as careful as he was with his walk when he came in. Alphonse had to hold him up almost all the way out the door.

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**Hah. I betcha didn't expect that, didja? If you did, I award you a cyber-cookie. If you didn't, I award you a half-eaten, stale-by-three-weeks cyber-cookie to do with whatever you want. If you have a mind like mine, I suppose the second one would be the better prize… Hmmm…**


	3. The Meeting

**Myaah! The first two chapters **_**are**_** really short! Dismal panic! I've never really been too good at lengthy writing, but now is the time for reform! Perhaps chapter 3 will be longer (because I cut out about half from chapter 2 because it didn't fit in well with the other goings-on). Oh, darn.**

**Disclaimer: No, FMA **_**isn't**_** mine. It's Hiromu Arakawa's.

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There was a moderate crowd around the East City train station. The Elric brothers were off to the side, waiting for the Sewing-Life Alchemist to show up. "So… where is he?" Al was looking through the crowd for the man on the picture he was given. He occasionally looked down at the photo then back up to see only random faces scattered around.

"Huh? Where's who?" Ed sat up on the wooden bench he had been napping on.

"Shou Tucker, the guy we're supposed to be guarding." Al turned briefly around to face his brother before going back to his search.

"Aw, he can take care of himself." Edward laid his head on his left arm and took a few deep breaths, trying to fall asleep again.

"Well, apparently he can't." This was just as routine as reporting failures. Ed would always try to skip the job, no matter what, for sleep.

"Yeah? Here's one for ya. Why us?" He always coincidentally had minor temporary amnesia whenever this happened, as well.

"Because we're bodyguards. We guard bodies. And Tucker hired us." Al was starting to get a bit annoyed by his brother's little act. Ed just stared at Al blankly, and then looked over at the train.

"Oh… G'night." Edward yawned his 'goodnight' then laid back down and began to doze off.

A man walked up to the brothers from the crowd. "Ah, there you boys are."

"Mr. Tucker?" There was a lot of relief in Al's voice.

"Yes, and you must be Sweal?" Tucker was having trouble looking into Al's red, glowing eyes and keeping a cool demeanor. There was a reputation with bodyguards that they were very tough and violent. Al's appearance only helped support the stereotype.

"No, not me. Him" Al pointed to his brother who was now deep asleep on the hard wooden bench. It never failed to surprise him how easily Ed could sleep.

"Hm. Somehow it makes more sense. How are those names made, anyway? They seem almost like gibberish."

"They're acronyms. We just say them like names to make it easier on ourselves. For example, Sweal stands for seven, wolf, energy, agility, luck. Five things that sort of personify brother."

"Interesting. And what would yours be?" Tucker seemed genuinely interested. Al supposed that trait alone would make a good alchemist.

"Efasc. Eight, feline, armor, strength, compassion."

"What are your real names, if you don't mind me asking?" That was one thing Alphonse hated about their job.

"Sorry, sir. That's confidential information now, but I will tell you we're brothers." He said this very sadly. The military had succeeded in taking his brother's freedom, and now because he let them, they had also taken both of their names. At least they could still admit to being brothers. Al looked over at Ed who was now turned on his side and drooling on the wood. Tucker looked over at him as well.

"We should probably wake him; the train is getting ready to leave."

"Yeah. Sweal, oh Sweeeal… BROTHER!" Alphonse was right next to Edward's head when he shouted. Though Al would probably never admit it, waking his brother was really fun. Fortunately for him, but not for his brother, that was the kindest way to wake him when he was that far asleep.

Ed jumped. "Augh! Ah, a'm awake, a'm awake. Jeez, do you always have to be so loud?" Al sighed. He thought Ed would be a little more used to that by now. After rubbing his eyes with his left hand, Ed looked up. He was staring face-to-face with a little girl. "Uh, hello." The little girl giggled and squirmed around. "Hey, what's so funny?"

"Little big brother's got slobber all over!" The girl broke out into a laugh.

Tucker stepped up behind her. "Now, now Nina. That's rude. Apologize now."

"Sorry, little big brother." Her laugh died back down to a giggle.

"I'm sorry, I forgot to introduce my daughter, Nina. Say hello, Nina." Tucker kneeled down and put his hands on Nina's shoulders and smiled proudly.

"Hello! Hey, why's bigger brother wearing funny clothes all like pots 'n pans?" Nina walked up to Al and patted his leg. She smiled at the tinny sound that rang from it every time she hit it. The Elric brothers didn't know what to tell the little girl. They knew they couldn't tell her the traumatizing truth about the, well… truth. They looked at each other then back to the girl, stuttering.

"It's a hobby."

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**Well, I guess this chapter wasn't all that reforming after all (I just finished the other half of the original chapter 2)… but I **_**did**_** get to act like a little girl for a while. That was fun. I hope none of the characters were OOC; that would break my happy. I would much rather know about it and fix it than it just being there and bugging me, though. So if anything is weird, please tell me. Yes, that means review.**

**Hey, kids! If you want your own bodyguard alias, just follow these simple instructions! (Letter 1) Your number, cannot be 7, 8, 3, or 1 (Letter 2) Favorite animal, or animal closely associated with you (Letter 3) Type of body or definition of your physical attributes ex. E for energetic (Letter 4) Attribute; strength, dexterity, agility, constitution, luck, charisma, etc. (Letter 5) Your social standing or tendencies ex. C for compassion or charismatic.**

**Jeez, maybe they aren't so simple…**


	4. Target

**It's been a little while, hasn't it? Yeah, over the week I've been kinda devoid of inspiration or ideas. I just hope this chapter isn't a casualty… Oh, and I've never been on a train. **_**Ever**_**. So please, if I got something wrong about stuff I don't really even know about, tell me about it. I'd appreciate it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. That's the cow's job.

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The Elrics were completely unused to this kind of luxury on a train. Tucker and his daughter were apparently important enough to get a private car, reserved for them and their bodyguards. Edward and Alphonse were putting Tucker's luggage in a compartment next to the couches on one side of the room. That was a bit odd, but Ed contributed it to being unsafe in the luggage car for whatever was in there. After everything was put in its place, Edward stood up and placed his hands in his pockets. He looked around at the decorations in the car. Could they really afford something like this for four people? "Fancy…" They must've really needed what Tucker had to offer. "So I assume what you're doing is a lot more important than what I was told…?"

Tucker was leading Nina to some of her things that Alphonse unpacked for her. He turned around to face Edward with a slight smile on his face. "That depends. What were you told?"

Ed crossed his arms over his chest and looked Tucker in the eye. "My superior said you were bringing research to the Central City labs."

"That would be true." Edward narrowed his eyes.

"Then why is it such a big deal?"

"The cargo in this train is a very unique specimen, and is somehow priceless to the military." Tucker looked back to watch Al play with Nina for a while. Ed noted this movement.

"You still haven't told me what it is." He uncrossed his arms and walked over to Tucker's side. He didn't like to be ignored.

Tucker looked down at Ed for a few seconds, then spoke with a voice barely louder than a whisper. "A chimera. A talking chimera." His eyes turned back to his daughter and his head soon followed. Ed's eyes grew wide.

"A-are you serious!?" He took a step back to catch himself; if this was true… "A chimera that can speak Amestrian!?"

"Perfectly serious."

Edward was taken aback by this revelation. "Unbelievable…" He looked at the fine wooden floor of the car. "To think: a chimera that can talk and understand language… So that's why you have so many bodyguards." Something came to his mind. "But one question."

"Hm? What is it?" Tucker looked at the boy curiously.

"Why isn't anyone guarding the cargo? It seems to me that everyone you've hired are to protect you."

"We can actually get the materials for the transmutation anywhere, but I'm the one who has to actually perform it then teach the others."

Tucker slipped. What he just said had told Edward that the chimera itself wasn't on the train, nor was it in Central. The materials to create it were here. But chimeras were made of two different living creatures… He couldn't let Tucker know what he had just discovered. "Makes sense…"

After a while, Nina fell asleep and Al brought her over to the couch. Tucker had wanted to go to the lounge car, and since he was a bodyguard, Ed had to go with him. They were at a small table, drinks in hand. Edward had lemonade, while Tucker had ordered several whiskeys. If he wanted Tucker to spill, now was his chance.

"Sweal." Ed looked up from his lemonade; Tucker had gotten the first word in.

"Hm?" He tried to determine how much he could get out of his employer at the moment. There were a lot of things he wanted to know.

"Your brother. There's a hollow sound in the armor when he moves." Ed stared back at his drink. Damn him, how dare he take the initiative like that! And with that kind of statement, too. "It wouldn't happen to be empty?" He knew. He obviously knew. However, he could use Tucker's question to answer his own.

"Tucker, I'm a man who believes in equivalency. If I tell you…" Ed thought about his proposition before he presented it to Tucker. They both had a lot of secrets, but if luck was on his side he would be the only one to remember them. He swallowed hard and decided to go through with it. "If I tell you, you must tell me why you chose to hire me and my brother." It was his closest guess. Tucker needed materials for a chimera; what better to use than a couple of complete strangers that people only wanted to get rid of?

"Fair enough." He had to follow through now. His hands tightened around his glass, and his face tensed. Did he really say that? Was it really too late to turn back, to get up and walk away rather than confirm… rather than confirm a drunken man's suspicions. Right. He had nothing to worry about.

"Yes. The armor is empty."

"But, how…?" This gave Ed another idea, once again based on the fact that he was a drunk man. He couldn't piece things together as well as he normally could. If he presented Tucker with a lot of abstract ideas, he wouldn't be able to make any sense of it at all. But he would only have that as a backup; he didn't want to tell Tucker anything, no matter what.

"Hey, hey. One question for one question."

"Alright. I hired you because I knew you would fail." Ed gasped. What did that mean? He couldn't have possibly implied that…

"You mean we're bait…? You're going to kill us off on purpose!?" He slammed his hands on the table and leaned forward, daring Tucker to say anything.

"I seem to remember the agreement being 'one question for one question'." Tucker was still calm. He had a point, though. Ed slid back down into his seat, staring at Tucker fearfully now. How could he stay so calm when he was threatened so much? He didn't have _that_ much to drink…

"Fine! I have automail; my right arm and left leg. Now please, tell me!" Tucker started to laugh at the boy. Ed sank back more into his seat. This man wasn't alright.

He calmed down just enough to speak. "Yes. You're bait so the other guards can finish them off. Otherwise, nobody would stand a chance." Wait, who's "them"? And he really wanted to kill them! He couldn't believe it; he couldn't take it. Ed pushed his chair back which lost its balance and fell to the floor. He started hastily walking away, but remembered why he was even there. Would he rather answer to the military or to Tucker's "them"?

"Where do you think you're going?" Tucker's voice was low and threatening. Ed couldn't move. He didn't want to move. He could feel Tucker's glare bore a hole in his back. His lungs burned and his legs were numb. A single word was forced through his lips.

"… Nowhere."

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**Well, I'm happy with it. But still, if any detail was even the slightest bit off, tell me and I'll fix it! Hopefully this got me in the mood to write again, too!**

**Oh, and I've got a new RP forum up (kinda). Please excuse me; I couldn't think of a name:**

**http:// carmotnation. myfreeforum. org/ index. php**

**I'd appreciate it if you'd even just stop by, but you'll notice that it isn't finished. If you want to join and start RPing though, it's open, and there'll probably be a few things for you to do.**


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